


The Surfers and The Alien

by LaReineDuLune



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys In Love, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Pansexual Character, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 06:04:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18404630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaReineDuLune/pseuds/LaReineDuLune
Summary: David finds out a devastating secret from Patrick's past.





	The Surfers and The Alien

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to @jcams88 on Tumblr, who got us into this whole mess in the first place. 
> 
> This work was inspired by the promo pictures for Noah Reid's film "The Aliens". Links to pics at the end of the fic.

The Surfers and the Alien  
©2019 La Reine Du Lune

  
Patrick was putting the finishing touches on the Chicken and Mushroom Stroganoff he was preparing for their romantic dinner when he finally heard David’s key in the lock. As the wedding approached and they waited to move into their new place, they found that they were barely spending a night apart and Patrick couldn’t wait until it was all permanent.

As David entered, Patrick turned the burner down to its lowest to allow it to simmer for a final thirty minutes so that all the flavours could blend into the perfect dish. It smelled divine. There was a bottle of white wine chilling in an ice bucket. The candles were ready to be lit, and the places had been set on a white table cloth. It didn’t matter that the plates and cutlery came from IKEA, or that there wasn’t a string quartet to accompany their meal. It was romantic, intimate, and perfect for them. 

There was also the Blackberry Cheesecake in the fridge that David was willing to walk through fire for from a specialty bakery in Elmdale. 

Patrick made his way to David once he was through the door, ready to greet him with a warm kiss. Patrick had manned the store alone for the day while David met with several new suppliers. There seemed to be an endless array of them in and amongst the neighbouring towns, all of whom were eager to get on board with The Rose Apothecary. Their business was almost becoming too big for their little space. They were entertaining the idea of opening a second store in Elm Valley, far enough away that their original store wouldn’t lose their customers from Elmdale.

Patrick was all smiles as he leaned in to kiss his fiancé, but to his confusion and hurt, David dodged the kiss, his face as cold as stone. He barely glanced at Patrick and instead moved past him and sat himself on the couch.

“We need to talk,” David spoke solemnly.

“David?” Patrick couldn’t help how his voice cracked. What was happening? The intense worry that had suddenly come over him made his stomach roil.

“You should sit down. This is important.”

Patrick nodded, wiping his now sweating hands on his jeans. As he approached he cast a glance at the set table and said goodbye to the beautiful night he had planned for them. He sat next to David, and his heart sunk as David moved over to put distance between them.

“Please, what’s going on?” The look on David’s face was nothing like Patrick had ever seen before. It was hard. It scared him.

“I assumed after Rachel, and after that thing with your parents no knowing about us, that there were no more secrets between us. That going forwards, that going into our marriage, we’d have all our cards laid out on the table. Maybe it’s my own fault for trusting you completely, given your track record.”

Patrick felt his tears come on. He had no idea what David was referring too. He wracked his brain but came up completely blank. 

“David, I swear, there’s nothing, absolutely nothing. I don’t have any secrets from you. I don’t know what you’re thinking but whatever it is, it’s not true, or you’re mistaken, or anything. I _am_ and have been completely honest with you about everything. Tell me what I’m supposed to have done.” He was pleading now, his emotions flying from him unrestrained. “I love you, please, I’m begging, don’t leave me. Let me fix this, whatever it is.”

“I’m not sure… I have some questions.”

“What are they, please?” Patrick was wringing his hands to keep them from shaking.

David took a deep breath. “Ok… for the sake of our relationship. We’re you one of the _surfers_ or were you _the alien_?”

Patrick blinked. He played David’s question over in his head several times. He looked to David and when the façade began to crack and the corners of his fiance’s mouth began to turn up, understanding finally dawned on Patrick. 

“Oh my god!” David burst into laughter and fell back against the couch cushions clutching his sides as he giggled uncontrollably. Patrick was on his feet a second later and grabbed the first thing he saw, the paper back book left on the coffee table and he threw it at David, catching him on his leg. “You asshole! You complete, fucking bastard! I thought you were going to break up with me!”

“I’m a better actor than you thought, huh?” David wiped the tears from his eyes and continued to chortle at the love of his life.

“I am never forgiving you for this!”

“So worth it!”

“How on earth did you find out?”

“How on earth did I find out that the man I’m marrying used to be in a surf punk rock band called _The Surfers and the Alien_? With bleached blond hair and amazingly hideous clothes? By the way this would be the perfect time to mention that I absolutely _love_ your mother. Like, so much. So so so much.”

Patrick rubbed his hands down his face and flopped back down on the couch like a puppet whose strings had been cut, all the tension having rushed out of him. David cuddled up close to him and pressed a sweet kiss to his temple.

“I can’t believe she told you about that.”

“Oh, she didn’t just tell me. She sent me all the promo pictures _and_ the mp3s from your demo tape. You guys actually weren’t all that bad, very _Social Distortion_ but with a little _Jack Johnson_ thrown in.”

“We were twenty years old.”

“Yep, and you were super cute. Embarrassing, but cute. Not a lot of surf rock bands come from land locked regions. Your mom had so many stories.”

“And you just ate it up, I bet?”

“I’m so full I don’t have room for dinner, which smells amazing, by the way.”

“It was just for fun. My first year of business school was challenging. I’d broken up with Rachel for the second time in as many years. I needed a distraction, and Ollie and Stu were in some of my classes. We put the band together for something to do, something to relieve the stress. We wrote a handful of songs, got gigs at the campus pub and for a minute we thought we might get somewhere with it. We got pretty popular. We even had A&R guys from record companies checking us out. That’s how we got the money to record the songs. We even did a tour.”

“Oh my god, did you have groupies?” David looked way too enthused at the prospect. Patrick’s blush was enough to reveal the answer.

“It was just blowjobs…”

“Wow, look at you and your _handful of girls_!”

“Well, I was the lead singer, and the guitarist.” Patrick sighed. “But, after about six months the whole thing fizzled and I got serious about school again. Ollie and Stu just wanted to be lazy and smoke weed. Then Rachel came back around…” He waved his hand dismissively. David was still smiling. “You’re never letting this go, are you?”

“Oh my god, absolutely never. Can you get the band back together for the wedding? Maybe perform _Broke n’ Stoked_ for our first dance?”

“David…” Patrick rolled his eyes and got up to check on their dinner. At the least he hoped he could shift David’s focus on the stroganoff and getting in a romantic mood, and away from his brief and ill fated music career.

“But seriously, my favourite song? _Beach Bitches_. That one is _tight_. Get it? That was a lyric…”

“I didn’t write that one.”

“But you did write _Liquid Groove_. Your mom said so.”

“Yeah, she’s off the guest list for the wedding.”

“She’s sending me one of your t-shirts and a poster. Did you know she has a trunk full of old merch? She kept _everything._ She’s still very proud.”

Patrick laughed and shook his head. He loved David with all his heart and soul, so he’d let him have his fun. Silence fell over the apartment and Patrick concentrated on serving up their dinner while David eventually rose from the couch to open and pour the wine, light the candles and dim the lights, passing by Patrick and doting a sweet kiss to the spot just below his left ear and giving his rear a caress, a promise for more later on in bed.

They sat down across from each other, exchanging affectionate smiles, their ankles hooked together under the table. David took up his wine glass. “A toast,” he spoke, waiting until Patrick held up his glass to continue. “To Ollie and Stu, for their total lack of ambition to pursue a career in music! Without them, the love of my life wouldn’t have finished his business degree and ended up in the middle of nowhere to have met, fallen in love with and asked me to marry him.”  
  
Patrick smiled. David had a good point. They clinked their glasses together. “To Ollie and Stu, wherever they may be.”

“Probably living in a van down by the river.”

 

The End.

> [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/qgbaQ5q)

> [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/d510Wag)

> [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/4OH2Z2b)

> [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/pZONUSx)

> 


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